DaddyPleaseListen

This blog is being used to help me deal with past child abuse, perhaps help me heal and understand why I was a victim.How I survived it and didn't use it as an excuse for all my downfalls, also as a mom myself didn't abuse my children,but had a hard time disciplinning.

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

My mind is racing

Hi dad,

It's taken me a little time to get back to you. My mind has so many awful memories and it makes my life a living hell at times. What could I have done so bad to be the only one abused, especially from birth. There are so many scars on my body and soul, some visable other's buried deep in my heart, it still hurts oh so much.
Every time I look at my feet the burn scar across my foot brings back horrible memories and all I can think is, how could a mom ever burn her own childs feet on the stove and not have a conscious. When ever I saw the stove on and the burner red hot with no pot on it, I knew what was coming. She would stuff a rag in my mouth, turn me upside down and put my foot on the burner. It was so painful daddy, one time I tried so hard to get away she missed and burnt my ankle and then she yelled at me because she said everyone would see it now, but she kept it well hidden. I wasn't allowed to cry daddy, gosh I was a little girl being tortured by your wife mother of your children. One time you even saw the big blister on my foot as I didn't know you were home and I forgot to put my sock back on and you asked me what happened to my foot and she quickly answered by saying I wore shoes that were to small. I don't know how you let that go as it was all blistery from mom yanking the sock off my foot ripping the scab off as more torture, it was right below my toes on the top of my foot. Were you that blind daddy? The top of both my feet were scarred from the burns. One time I was in my corner as usual on my knees, mom put a paper bag over my head, while she heated up the scissors on the stove and then placed them on my butt.I was branded with the number 6 but the scar has faded over the years but it was seen by my siblings, they feel for me today daddy.
 
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