I'm Trying to tell you but it's still hard

I want so much for you to understand what mom did to me dad, I'm grown up now so maybe you'll believe it this time. I never understood why I was treated so differently from my siblings. Never ate the same food as them, only time I had meals was when you were home. Do you remember the hard rock peanut butter sandwiches you found in the cupboard? That was my lunch from the previous day that I couldn't eat. It was the same lunch every day, peanut butter on two pieces of bread. If I couldn't eat it it was there for the next day unwrapped. One day it was so bad and so hard to swallow as the bread was so stale, I threw up and she made me eat it while my siblings laughed at it. Just like when she put the brown paper bag over my head and cut a hole just for my mouth to eat whatever she decided to feed me. Your at work dad, I'm stuck in my corner of the kitchen on my knees as usual, and everyone is sitting down to supper and desert. Supper is over and it,s desert time I know what it is as it's passed under my nose then passed to my sibling. You never could see dad, she had an answer for everytime you asked about the marks visible on my body. You asked mom why I had welts on my legs, her reply, "she was the teasing the boys at school and they whipped her with the skipping rope" you believed it no questions asked. The previous day she had whipped me with the vacume cleaner cord. I hated when you had to go to work, except for when I was at school, I was safe there and treated normal.There's so much dad I don't know how to put it into words. I'm a grown adult why can't I just sit down alone with you and let it out, I guess I'm still scared in some way and feel I'm at fault. But no child deserves to be abused mentally or physically.